Sunday, October 29, 2006

There's WHAT on my glasses?

I am convinced that when I remove my spectacles before bed, something odd happens to them. I put my book on top of the stack on my bedside table, put my glasses on top and turn out the light. Normal, yes? No. Then a small, earth-burrowing beastie (a mole? a wombat? a fuck-knows-what?) snuffles into the room, climbs the bedside table (without waking Mr Furpants), snatches my specs and puts them on and trundles off to dig a hole in something unspeakable.
The next morning, the beastie returns them before I wake. I get up, take a shower and put them on and hey presto - they're covered in a fine film of shite. Nothing else can explain the state of utter filth in which my spectacles exist. Obviously it's nothing that I do to them, since I almost never burrow through things unspeakable. Damn you, mole/wombat/fuck-knows-what! Clean my damned glasses before you bring them back next time!

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5 Comments:

At 8:18 pm, October 30, 2006, Anonymous Ms Batville said...

Hey, I have one of those too. Maybe the Spectacle Wombat is like the Hoop Snake and the Drop Bear - an animal that is too scary for people to confess that it really exists.

 
At 9:02 pm, October 30, 2006, Blogger redcap said...

My brother-in-law has the scars on his scalp to prove the existence of drop bears. He claims the koala just lost its grip and fell out of the tree, but then he is from England and obviously doesn't understand the wily and evil nature of the killer koala.

 
At 11:02 pm, October 30, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yep, I believe that cryptozoological studies need to be carried out upon such events!

 
At 2:37 pm, October 31, 2006, Blogger Bonestorm said...

I have a simple explanation for this. You're sleepwalking. Through a factory. Erm... a factory that produces fine filmy shite. This is then deposited on your glasses. Presto!

Ok that wasn't so simple.

 
At 7:24 pm, October 31, 2006, Blogger redcap said...

You know Bonestorm, your theory could also explain at least some of the empty vodka bottles in the recycling bin...

 

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