Saturday, November 17, 2007

365 peas on the floor, 365 peas...

Have you ever wondered what one pea for each day of the year might look like, spread over the floor?

We-e-ell, wonder no more.

It's funny how the universe conspires against you some days, isn't it? I thought, "Hmm, greens are good. I'll have peas for dinner!" So I shoved some in the microwave and gave them a nuking that BHP Billiton would have been proud of. Mr Microwave went "bing!" so I fished them out.

And burnt my finger on pea steam.

And dropped them.

This is what, in my family, is usually known as peaing on the floor. Except it's usually only a few peas, not a peavalanche.

Admittedly, the picture doesn't show the full peay disaster, because they rolled all over the sodding kitchen. And yes, I did manage to put a size eight boot through some of them.

By the time I'd picked them all up (I counted them, out of sheer perversity), chocolate looked like a much better dinner option. If I'd dropped the chocolate, I could just have said, "Three second rule!" and eaten it anyway.

Harrumph. Let that be a lesson to all of you - peas are evil and chocolate is good.

Labels: ,


At 7:45 pm, November 17, 2007, Blogger phishez_rule said...

Thats a pretty picture.

At 10:43 pm, November 17, 2007, Blogger River said...

365 peas on the floor, 365 peas
pick one up & throw it away
364 peas on the floor
Continue, I'm sure you know the tune..........
(98 bottles of beer on the wall, 98 bottles of beer
take one down, share it around
97 bottles of beer on the wall)

At 3:11 pm, November 18, 2007, Blogger actonb said...

I'm covetous of your floor boards... less so of your peas.

At 5:07 pm, November 18, 2007, Blogger redcap said...

phish, yes, green and brown always go so nicely together, don't they?

river, I suppose on balance that if I'd dropped that much beer, it would have been a far worse mess.

acton, do you think I should tell people it's a modern art installation?

At 6:58 pm, November 18, 2007, Anonymous Teddy said...

Tey jumped----peas are not for cooking----and of course you found them locked away in a packet ot tin before you microwaved them---well they actually come in pods and they are fantatic raw---try the Central Market

At 8:54 am, November 19, 2007, Blogger Jo said...

I'd love to make a joke about being a princess or something, but it's Monday morning and my coffee hasn't hit the bloodstream yet.

So... y'know... princess. Pea. Whatever.

At 9:01 am, November 19, 2007, Blogger theianandanexpedition said...

A peavalanche! I love it.

I was waiting for some dodgy reference to a bad helicopter accident, but your humour is much too highbrow for that, I'm glad :)

At 5:44 pm, November 19, 2007, Blogger Ariel said...

'Peas are evil and chocolate is good.'

I knew that!

At 9:03 pm, November 19, 2007, Blogger Sakura said...

What is it with peas, I am always dropping them on the floor. They seem to roll of my fork when I'm eating - oh hang on most things seem slop their way onto my chesty chest whilst I'm eating. I can walk around for the whole day with half a sandwich on my boobs !

Nice use of the word pea in all of that.

At 9:43 pm, November 19, 2007, Blogger redcap said...

ted, you're right - frozen. Not quite as tasty, but so convenient. And better for me than ordering pizza. Yes, the cooking's gone to the dogs while Bloke's been away.

Jo, with this many peas, I think even Fergie (ex-Duchess not current Dutchess) would notice.

dan, helicopter accident? Blackpea Down, you mean?

ariel, if only chocolate was considered a green, we'd be set.

sakura, ba ha ha! Half a sandwich on your boobs - nice one. You lucky, lucky bastard. I lie awake at night dreaming of carrying around a half-eaten sanger on my norks. I can't manage more than a few crumbs in my "cleavage" and my bra's main purpose is to hold my biro because it's easier than sticking it behind my ear :)

At 11:43 am, November 20, 2007, Blogger Steph said...

I love peas. Not AS much as chocolate but I do enjoy a few....not 365 though. i would have got the vacuum out to clean that lot up.

At 2:36 pm, November 20, 2007, Blogger eleanor bloom said...

Perhaps green-pea-chocolate would be the answer?

...or maybe not.

Ice cream. A much better choice for dinner. You'll never get steam burnt by ice cream (although you're less able to apply the 3-second rule...).

At 9:49 am, November 21, 2007, Blogger Milly Moo said...

LOL - sorry Redcap, I was laughing too much to feel much sympathy for you but I am glad that you realise that peas ARE indeed evil and chocolate is good. Better than good in I'm distracted and will feature into the fridge to eat the remains of Nestle Cherry Noir.....

At 7:00 pm, November 21, 2007, Blogger The Blakkat said...

I'm just impressed that you could write an entertainging 'peace' about dropping peas on the floor. You're in blogaspea of your own.

At 1:57 am, November 22, 2007, Anonymous MikeFitz said...

Nice floorboards. Tastefully decorated.

At 6:24 pm, November 22, 2007, Blogger River said...

So are you going to leave this up to see if the number of comments can beat the Inappropriate Muffin?

At 8:50 pm, November 22, 2007, Blogger redcap said...

steph, would have needed an aquavac. I was about to sweep em up with the brush and dust pan when I realised how much water there was on the floor.

eleanor, you're much less likely to burn yourself with icecream, anyway.

milly, mmmmm chocolate. I've learned my lesson and I've been hoovering Charlesworth's chocolate apricot and raspberry balls this evening.

blakkat, why thank you ma'am. Remember I am a half-hearted hack - I write about nothing every day of the week ;)

mike, thanks! :) I love my floorboards too. They're all through the house and it makes it rather easier to sweep up all the cat wool that ends up blowing about the place.

river, somehow I don't think it spilled peas have that much mileage in 'em. If I stay awake, I'll post late on about things that are pissing me off this week.

At 5:10 pm, November 26, 2007, Blogger Suse said...

My youngest dropped an entire packet of 100s and 1000s on the kitchen floor (brick) an hour ago.

Prettier than peas, and they make a satisfying noise as they whoosh up the vacuum cleaner hose.

At 9:51 pm, November 26, 2007, Blogger redcap said...

suse, 100s and 1000s? Wow. Hats off to your youngest! Thank Ford it's bricks and not floorboards, though, or you'd have new, technicolour gaps between the boards, vacuum cleaner or not.


Post a Comment

<< Home