Sunday, August 26, 2007

Hilariarse fruit

I'll apologise for this up front. I know it's immature. I know.

Just remember, I laugh when someone says 'bum'. When Bloke is bored, he'll just whisper 'bum' in my ear in a Monty Python sort of voice and sit back and be entertained. When we went to see Ross Noble during the Fringe this year, I laughed so hard I nearly hyperventilated during a skit where a zoo monkey was bumming a bum-faced child in the face. "Bumming him in the face?" "Yes, he's bumming him in the face!" (repeat ad nauseam)

So, with that in mind, I give you The Bumberry:

And The Bumberry from another angle:

Who knew strawberries had dates?

~snicker~

I promise to write something more thought-provoking and grown-up in a day or two.

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32 Comments:

At 6:03 pm, August 26, 2007, Blogger Jacob said...

Ew.

Yet strangely compelling.

Did you find that strawberry yourself?

 
At 6:39 pm, August 26, 2007, Blogger phishez_rule said...

Now thats an arse you want to sink your teeth into.

 
At 7:34 pm, August 26, 2007, Blogger redcap said...

jacob, well, kind of - it was in the punnet I bought from the supermarket today.

phishez, I'm resisting. It's still amusing me too much to eat it just yet.

 
At 8:45 pm, August 26, 2007, Blogger raoul duke said...

ehh, that's not bad redcap but, having grown up on a citrus, other fruits and vegetable farm your bum strawberry looks amatuerish next to the arse/cock/nose/tits oranges, lemons, eggplant and plums that gave me so many counless hours of pleasure fruity pleasure as a little tacker.

 
At 8:46 pm, August 26, 2007, Blogger raoul duke said...

and yes I DID say counless. deal with it.

 
At 9:30 pm, August 26, 2007, Blogger theianandanexpedition said...

hilariarse! I love it!

 
At 10:06 pm, August 26, 2007, Blogger redcap said...

Raoul, sorry, man - I guess I just haven't seen as many cock-and-balls eggplants as you have. I'm easily amused, though, and on a dull Sunday, a bum strawberry does the trick ;)

dan oh, I've got bum jokes coming out of my... er... well...

 
At 10:16 pm, August 26, 2007, Blogger Rosanna said...

I know that you will say that I should love your thought-provoking, awe-inspiring posts best of all - but this is so funny, I had to pause for a whole minute just to regain my thoughts and say this is my favourite.

I bet it tastes sweet too.

 
At 7:26 am, August 27, 2007, Blogger Ms Batville said...

Have you devoured it yet? Maybe you could ebay it for a small fortune?

 
At 8:12 am, August 27, 2007, Blogger Jo said...

Mmmmmm.... strawberry chocolate starfish...

 
At 10:19 am, August 27, 2007, Blogger Milly Moo said...

As per Raoul Duke, I spent a few summers cutting apricots in half to dry them for youse all to eat 'em later on in your health fruit'n'nut selections.

After a few hours and sticky juice seeping into my cramped, cut hands, they all looked like little orange bums waiting to be sliced...

 
At 11:17 am, August 27, 2007, Blogger actonb said...

*snort*

I have a house full of children and a husband with the mental age of the Year 9 kids he teaches so, yeah, that amuses me no end...

*giggle*

 
At 3:26 pm, August 27, 2007, Blogger PetStarr said...

HAH HA HA HA HA

That SO wasn't funny until you showed "the other angle". Ha ha ha

 
At 3:58 pm, August 27, 2007, Blogger Scorpy said...

Ross Noble is hilarious! the LLs and I had strawberries and cream with pancakes yesterday. I'm glad i didn't see this beforehand :)

 
At 6:01 pm, August 27, 2007, Blogger Eleanor Bloom said...

NEVER apologise for being easily amused. That's just the best way to be I reckon! I love these little things in life that make me smile.

Saw Noble last year in Canberra. He's so silly. I laughed hard enough to warm myself up (thank God! Canberra, brrr!).

 
At 6:31 pm, August 27, 2007, Anonymous MikeFitz said...

Nice photos. Well framed, good lighting, perfect focus on the important tits, er, I mean, bits. Oh, stuff it! How can a bloke remain serious? Ha Ha! You said "BUM".

 
At 6:54 pm, August 27, 2007, Blogger Sakura said...

Ahaha brilliant. My dad does that all the time, he will go out of his way to buy strange looking fruit and veg, take a photo and then email me the photo.

 
At 7:33 pm, August 27, 2007, Blogger gigglewick said...

you've got yourself a worldwide office-spam email phenomenon right there...

 
At 10:20 pm, August 27, 2007, Blogger redcap said...

rosanna, well the other strawberries were pretty good, so I imagine this cheeky little devil will be too.

jo, sounds like a great name for a small star-shaped chocolate-coated marshmallow sea creature. We'll sell a million!

ms b, you're back! How was the holiday? Do you think ebay would want such a strawberry?

milly, speaking of which, every time I see one of those little cakes that's made to look like a peach, I can't help thinking of pigs' bottoms...

acton, bum! He he he.

pet, yep, the... er... lunar angle was definitely the money shot.

scorpy, you wouldn't have been able to keep a straight face, would you?

eleanor, yes, but are the little things that make you small as small as a strawberry's date?

mike, ha, that's the spirit! Bum! ~snort~

sakura, I knew there was a reason I liked your dad. Apart from him being your dayd, of course.

gw, you reckon? Cool! I always wanted to spawn spam.

 
At 10:40 pm, August 28, 2007, Anonymous ali g said...

strawberrys do have feelings you know. Have you ever heard them scream when you bite them...so just imagine how the poor little thing is feeling while you all joke about it's poor little bottom. Shame!

 
At 12:02 am, August 29, 2007, Blogger redcap said...

ali g, are you from RSA by any chance? It's just that "Shame!" is a particularly South African expression...

 
At 7:59 am, August 29, 2007, Anonymous ali g said...

no but will be in Kruger for 2 weeks in November at thr TP birthday bash. It's a parental sort of thing and having read all the books could possibly talk an RSA/OZ blend maybe..nah not really... 'shame' just popped into my head while I was munching strawberries. www.varykino.com.au is home

 
At 1:17 pm, August 29, 2007, Blogger Nai said...

SNORT! 'Bum' is a funny word and bum shaped fruit is always hilariarse. Anyone who says otherwise is simply beyond painful.

 
At 6:49 am, August 30, 2007, Blogger londongirl said...

If only my arse was that pert.

 
At 12:57 pm, August 30, 2007, Blogger redcap said...

ali, ooh, I'm jealous. I've been glued to the Kruger webcams lately. Varykino looks like a lovely spot. I didn't realise Mudgee was so pretty.

nai, my thoughts exactly!

LG, pert, but somewhat lopsided. I don't think I'd fancy having one big cheek and one little one...

 
At 10:41 pm, August 30, 2007, Blogger Lonie Polony said...

It is funny. The best primary produce I've ever found myself was my poor departed Pa's two-legged carrots, or an egg that was pointed at both ends. Why can't my comestibles look like off-putting body parts?

 
At 2:17 pm, August 31, 2007, Blogger Steph said...

That's the only arse I'd ever rim.

 
At 8:25 pm, September 01, 2007, Anonymous ali g said...

Hi RC
Thanks for nice words re Mudgee yes it's nice here. Kate [as on website] is TP's mum. It's our 1st trip to Africa and really looking forward to it .. just blogged TP & Bec's latest comments so thought to follow on & to see what you've been up to

 
At 11:18 pm, September 01, 2007, Blogger redcap said...

lonie, but I always find two-legged carrots funny...

steph, ha! I can always count on you to take it that one step further :D

ali, ahh - I see. Must say, I was rather chuffed that Tony took the time to pay a reciprocal visit as well. I do like his books :)

 
At 9:29 pm, September 04, 2007, Blogger The Blakkat said...

Don't apologise! Bloody hilarious! It's up there with fart jokes. It even had an anus like hole at the bottom...hee hee!

 
At 6:21 am, September 14, 2007, Blogger knifepainter said...

Looks a trifle sore.....

 
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