Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Greetings from Randomland

Yesterday morning, two women stopped at the base of an empty escalator, blocking the way.
"Excuse me," I said, politely.
They both turned and looked at me as though I'd spat on them.
"Could I get past, please?" Politely, again.
They mustered up some more outrage, but moved as little as possible. I slipped past and climbed the escalator. When I got to the top, I heard one shout, "You kno-owww, there are STAIRS if you want to WALK!"


On the train home, an eight-year-old boy restored my faith in humanity by running up and down the carriage, chanting, "Snot-snot-snot-snot-snot-snot-snot-snot-snot-snot".


Tonight, after leaving a civilised booze-up that was showing signs of turning messy, a guy approached me in the street.
"I had Portuguese chicken!" he said with a grin like an old sneaker.
"Well, that's just great."
"It was so good! It was Portuguese!"
"Fantastic, mate. Glad you enjoyed it."
"And spice-eeeee!"


And it's only Tuesday.